Facebook would be a middle-aged woman using company time to play text-based games and sending people invites to shitty applications.
Twitter would be a self-righteous douchebag with a speech impediment.
Myspace would be 13 year old brat, doing free advertising for porn stars and their friend’s shitty bands, be covered in stickers of “sparkly” cartoon bimbos (that resemble transvestites), butterflies or some shit. It sure as fuck wouldn’t be using headphones because it’s rare to see a myspace page where annoying music doesn’t turn you away.
Wikipedia would be getting molested by hundreds of thousands of random hands.
Deviant Art would actually be a 19 year old guy drawing generic anime characters, furries, and slutty pictures of their favorite cartoons.
Youtube would just be a picture of Dustin Hoffman from Rain Man. He has a special talent but everything that comes out of his mouth is just flat out retarded. But only if Rain Man was edited with Windows Movie Maker, and if Barry Levinson called himself “LevDog420 Studios”
Google would be a guy hard at work in a trendy lab eating a free lunch and using a pile of money for a chair. In beta.